“Love is the most beautiful sentiment the Lord has put into the soul of men and women.”
– St. Gianna Beretta Molla

Couples Counselling

Get the support you need now!

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) is usually a short term (8-20 sessions), structured approach to couples therapy formulated in the early 1980s by Professors Susan Johnson and Leslie Greenberg. EFT is supported by John Bowlby’s attachment research, wherein it appears that as humans we have an innate need to feel attached and comforted by a few irreplaceable others.

EFT is all about attachment. In the early stages, the focus is on repetitive, negative cycles of interaction that partners get caught in where they trigger each other’s attachment panic and thus react in rigid, self-protective ways. One partner’s best attempts to get emotional needs met unfortunately can trigger the other to react defensively, creating distance and pain, rather than closeness and emotional safety. We call this a dance because the steps are so well known and each partner affects the other intimately. Most relationships know the steps of their “dance” very well and often feel helpless to change the steps.

EFT is a non-blaming, gentle approach to couple & relationship distress that validates each partner’s perspective and helps them to send and receive clear emotional signals regarding needs and fears. Instead of simply working on communication skills that can sometimes feel like a “band aid” to the situation, EFT aims to help couples & relationships to see and exit their dance by sending clearer messages about emotional needs in ways that do not trigger the defences and fears of their partner. EFT goes to the heart of the matter by uncovering the deeper needs and fears that often go unheard and by helping partners express these deeper feelings to each another. This is how each relationship can create a new dance of connection, safety and security.

Getting the right answers for couple conflict is tough! Many times a couple cannot come up with a compromise that both partners are comfortable with and this can lead to great deal of frustration and often more hurt. It is vital for couples who are experiencing problems to get help from an expert. Couples therapy empowers partnerships to find understanding, comfort and ultimately peace. The challenges each couple face may be different, however there are skills and techniques to be learned to cope. There is hope for healthy communication through the therapeutic process.

The goal of EFT is to help couples & relationships create a secure attachment. This means not only having a close, safe and loving bond together, but also an increase in coping and overall stress management for each individual. Securely attached people navigate the trials of life with greater ease than those who are insecurely attached. There is nothing like knowing that a precious loved one has your back to help you to face what life throws at you.

EFT for couples & relationships has been extensively researched over the last 25 years, with a substantial body of research supporting its effectiveness. Studies find that 70-75% of couples & relationships move from distress to recovery and approximately 90% show significant improvements in marital satisfaction. EFT meets all the American Psychological Association’s criteria for an evidence- based intervention. The major contraindications for EFT are on-going violence in the relationship or an ongoing affair.

Couple Counselling can include many topics such as:

  • Communication
  • Infidelity/Affairs
  • Parenting/ raising children
  • Financial
  • Faith related issues
  • Sexual problems
  • Extended family issues (in-laws)
  • Separation and Divorce
  • Blended family/step-parenting

Come see Amanda to be heard and find solutions!

“No one can dance with a partner and not touch each other’s raw spots.
We must know what these raw spots are and be able to speak about them in a way that pulls our partner closer to us.”
- Sue Johnson